kate spencer

Healthy family communication is extremely important in your day-to-day routines, but it typically takes last place in most homes. Whether it is your and your spouse’s busy schedule, the hustle-bustle activities of the kids, or the ever-present TV distraction, mealtimes are rarely together as a family and typically fall to the “get ‘er done” syndrome. Healthy family communication is the inevitable loser and the result is that family members’ needs, wants and concerns get ignored or glossed over with little or inappropriate attention.

Opportunities for family members to express their needs, wants, and concerns to each other without fear of rejection or being ignored are essential. Solving family issues relies heavily on the family members being able to talk and listen to each other in an environment that encourages honesty, trust, acceptance and fairness. Family dinner time can provide such an environment.

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Although couples seeking marriage help frequently mention the lack of sex as a source of unhappiness, few people really understand the strong psychological effect frequent sex has in a marriage. It can be the antidote to the poisons in your relationship and one of the best ways you and your spouse can rekindle a level of intimacy that hearkens back to the beginning of your journey together.

Yet, here comes those ever evasive two words: marriage intimacy. It’s borderline enigmatic and equally frustrating when struggling couples try to force intimacy back into their marriage. I may want to ask my reflection in the mirror how to help my marriage without feeling like I’m giving away a part of who I am or forcing myself to give my all when I’m not certain that my spouse will return the physical appreciation.

It’s not uncommon to feel like sex is a heavier burden than the actual fighting that has caused the emotional canyon in your marriage. You and your spouse may feel like sex in marriage puts all the pressure on both of you to perform. But romancing your spouse isn’t about giving up your own needs and chance at happiness.

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If you have ever dealt with infidelity in your relationship, you know that approaching a cheating wife or cheating husband and trying to get to the heart of the matter is never easy. The question of “What led to this?” is faced by many men and women. The feelings of violation and mistrust make the situation seem hopeless. Somewhere between feeling hurt and angry there is a hope that somehow you will be able to get through this and resolve your marriage problems.

Confronting the “What led to this?” question can be the most difficult part of the equation. It is an important step however to getting down to the root of the issue at hand. Although you may feel betrayed and violated, losing control of your emotions and angrily confronting and accusing your spouse can potentially create more obstacles to overcome than you already have before you. Remember that the less judgmental you are, the more likely your spouse will be to open up.

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Trying to rebuild trust in your marriage after an affair can be a difficult process.  Regardless of whether you are the cheating wife or cheating husband, or the spouse who was cheated on, infidelity causes you deep emotional issues.

Finding out that your spouse has had or is having an affair often creates feelings of helplessness, vulnerability and uncertainty about who to trust or where to go from here.  While it’s understandable that the injured spouse would have these feelings, many times the cheating spouse has similar feelings of being alienated and unsure of what to do.  Although you may be coming from different perspectives, knowing how to move forward after an affair is unfamiliar and frightening territory for most couples.

All couples who recover from affairs in their marriage go through the discomfort of reopening lines of communication in order to begin the process of understanding what the issues are behind the infidelity.  Here are three things to keep in mind as you start to rebuild your relationship:

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